1983 FRANK ZAPPA W/ STEVE VAI MAN FROM UTOPIA RECORD STORE USA PROMO LP + POSTER

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MARCH 28TH 1983 - FRANK ZAPPA - THE MAN FROM UTOPIA - THIS IS THE ORIGINAL USA - 12" VINYL RECORD LP RECORD STORE PROMO KIT - THERE WEREN'T ANY PROMO LABELS, JUST A GOLD PROMO STAMP ON THE BACK COVER BUT THAT'LL TELL YA' THAT IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST RECORDS PRESSED OFF THE STAMPERS, NOT ONE THAT WAS PRESSED 10,000 RECORDS RECORDS LATER ON THIN VINYL FROM THE SAME STAMPERS AS HAD BEEN THE CASE WITH MANY 80'S PRESSINGS - ALSO THE APPROXIMATELY 23 1/2 X 23 1/2 INCHES PROMO POSTER. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.., BECAUSE IT ALSO INCLUDES THE ORIGINAL GLOSSY PAPER FRANK ZAPPA GUITAR BOOK / BABY SNAKES PICTURE DISC ADS / SONG LYRICS INNER SLEEVE. SO NOW YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SING ALONG WITH THE SONGS ON THIS ALBUM AT YOUR NEXT BONGO PARTY OR WEENY ROAST AND UNLIKE YOUR SLOBBERING DRUNK FRIENDS SING THEM CORRECTLY. LET ME TELL YA', FRANK WOULDA' REALLY APPRECIATED THAT, AND SPEAKING OF SINGING ALONG, YEZ JUST MIGHT WANNA BE CAREFUL ABOUT WITH WHOM YEZ ARE SINGING ALONG WITH THESE DAYS - CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS - OK LARRY?

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES MITCH MILLER LOOK LIKE THE DEVIL? YEAH, IF YOU'RE A DINOSAUR GEEZER YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT, HE HAD THAT SING ALONG WITH MITCH TV SHOW. WELL NOT ONLY WAS HE SCARY LOOKING, BUT HE WAS AN A&R MAN FOR MERCURY AND COLUMBIA RECORDS. THAT'S RIGHT, HE WAS A RECORD COMPANY EXECUTIVE AND HE HATED ROCK 'N' ROLL. IN 1958 HE SAID "ROCK 'N' ROLL IS MUSICAL BABY FOOD. IT IS THE WORSHIP OF MEDIOCRITY, BROUGHT ABOUT BY A PASSION OF CONFORMITY". HUH? THEY SAY HE WAS BORN IN 1911 AND CROAKED IN 2010, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT. BECAUSE, NOW CHECK THIS OUT: A FEW YEARS AGO THEY FOUND SOME OLD PAPYRUS SCROLLS IN SOME CAVE IN THE MIDDLE EAST. WHEN THEY DECIPHERED THEM, TO THEIR AMAZEMENT THEY DISCOVERED THAT ONE OF THEM SAID THAT THE DEVIL WOULD RETURN AS A RECORD COMPANY EXECUTIVE. HEY, THEY WERE WEARING SANDALS AROUND BACK THEN AND RECORDS DIDN'T EVEN EXIST. SO HOW DID THEY KNOW THAT? NOW THE GOVERNMENTS BEEN TRYING TO KEEP IT QUIET, THEY DON'T WANNA CREATE A WORLD WIDE PANIC. BESIDES, I HEAR THAT THEY'RE TRYING TO CHECK OUT IF MITCH REALLY DID CROAK, OR IF HE'S STILL LURKING AROUND SOMEWHERE. SO ROCK 'N' ROLL MIGHT NOT REALLY BE SATAN'S MUSIC, AND YEZ BETTER BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHO YEZ SING ALONG WITH THESE DAYS. OK LARRY?

SIDE ONE POOTS FORTH: COCAINE DECISIONS - THE DANGEROUS KITCHEN - TINK WALKS AMOK - TE RADIO IS BROKEN - MOGGIO.

SIDE TWO OOZES OUT: THE MAN FROM UTOPIA MEETS MARY LOU - STICK TOGETHER - SEX - THE JAZZ DISCHARGE PARTY HATS - WE ARE NOT ALONE.

THE ALBUM COVER IS PRETTY NICE. SOME DINGS ON THE TIPS OF SOME CORNERS. NO SEAM SPLITS. NO TAPE. NO WRITING. YOU'LL LOVE IT.

BOTH SIDES SOUND GREAT, PERFECT WHEN I PLAYED EM' ON A DENON DP-1200 TURNTABLE WITH A DENON MOVING COIL CARTRIDGE HOOKED UP TO A HEAD AMP. IT PLAYS THE EXACT WAY IT WOULDA' PLAYED HAD YOUR BEHIND PURCHASED IT IN 1983 INSTEAD OF ALL THAT DISCO CRUD YEZ WERE CONSUMING, BECAUSE THE RECORD LOOKS BEAUTIFUL, I DON'T  EVEN SEE ANY SCUFFS. NOW THE SONG LYRICS INNER SLEEVE HAS SOME WRINKLES, NO SEAM SPLITS AND YOU'LL LIVE THRU IT ANYWAY, BECAUSE YOUR BEHIND WILL RECEIVE WITHOUT ANY ADDITIONAL CHARGE A BRAND NEW HIGH QUALITY COLLECTOR'S SLEEVE ABSOLUTELY FREE. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.... BECAUSE DUE TO THE FACT THAT WEEZE TIGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE YEZ A PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE ABSOLUTELY FREE.

THE POSTER HAS NEVER BEEN DISPLAYED, SO THERE'S NO TACK HOLES, NO TAPE MARKS . SOME YELLOWING SPOTS ON THE BACK AND A SMALL NAME OR SOMETHING ON THE BACK TOO. NONE OF WHICH SHOW THRU TO THE FRONT ANYWAY. 

YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY WHEN YOU PURCHASE THIS ITEM. SO NO LONGER WILL I GET TO HEAR DEM EXCUSES WHILE LAUGHING MY BEHIND OFF SUCH AS, BUT NOT LIMITED TO: "I FORGOT THAT THESE WERE VINYL RECORDS.THE LAST ONE THAT I PURCHASED GOT DAMAGED WHEN I TRIED TO CRAM IT INTO MY CD PLAYER","I THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS RICCARDO ZAPPA. ISN'T FRANK ZAPPA THAT GUY WHO ALWAYS LIKED TO SIT ON TOILETS?","AFTER CONSULTING WITH MY WIFE WHO SAID THAT SHE WAS GOING TO STICK MY BALLS IN A VICE IF I PURCHASED JUST ONE MORE FRANK ZAPPA RECORD, I DECIDED TO PLAY IT SMART AND BUY AN APRON, BROOM AND MOP FOR ME TO USE INSTEAD". EVEN IF SOME, IF NOT ALL OF THESE MISERABLE EXCUSES ARE TRUE. COMBINED SHIPPING IS AVAILABLE FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE AND CERTAIN TRANSACTIONS, HOWEVER IN TRYING TO KEEP IN STEP WITH ALL OF THOSE BIG TIME SELLERS, THAT WANNA MAKE EVEN THE SMALLEST THING A HASSLE, AND THE FACT THAT YOU PROBABLY DESERVE MORE GRIEF IN YOUR LIFE THAN YOU'RE CURRENTLY GETTING, YOU'LL NEED TO READ THE FINE PRINT FIRST: TO QUALITY FOR COMBINED SHIPPING, A PERSON NEEDS TO MEET AND / OR EXCEED ALL OF THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS: YOU NEED TO HAVE PURCHASED MORE THAN ONE ITEM FROM ME, NOT ONE ITEM FROM ME, AND A HELEN REDDY ALBUM FROM SOME WOMAN NAMED JOE. YOU NEED TO HAVE PAID FOR THOSE ITEMS WITH A PAYMENT RECEIVED BY ME, NOT ONE PAYMENT FOR ONE ITEM MADE TO ME, AND THEN YOU GO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR MONEY ON A HOOKER IN SOME SEEDY MOTEL. YOU MUST NOT BE NOW, NOR HAVE EVER BEEN, AND MUST PROMISE THAT IN THE FUTURE NEVER TO BE: CAUGHT SLOBBERING DRUNK AT THE PALOMINO, THEREFORE RECEIVING UP TO, AND INCLUDING 30 DAYS IN SAN BER'DINO. NUISANCE DILLHOLE OR DILLWEED. LARRY'S MOTHER. THE GUY WHO RECENTLY HAD THE UNMITIGATED AUDACITY TO TELL ME THAT HE WAS OFFENDED BY ONE OF MY LISTINGS, AND THAT I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF. ..

HERE'S THE DEAL ABOUT ABOUT SHIPPING: THE POSTER HAS NEVER BEEN FOLDED SO IF YOU DON'T WANT FOLDS I'LL HAVE TO SEND IT IN A SHIPPING TUBE BY PRIORITY MAIL. THE ALBUM WILL GET SENT IN A CARDBOARD RECORD MAILER BY MEDIA MAIL WHICH MEANS IT COULD ARRIVE 6 OR MORE DAYS LATER. SO I DON'T WANNA HEAR: HEY MAN, WHERE'S MY ALBUM MAN? I GOT THE POSTER BUT YOU FORGOT TO SEND MY ALBUM MAN. OK LARRY?

$48.00 FOR FIRST CLASS INTERNATIONAL AIR MAIL SHIPPING OUTSIDE OF THE USA.

NO MORE SALES TO FRANCE, RUSSIA, ITALY, SWINELAND, VULGARIA, THE UNITED FEDERATION OF CHISELERS , MOLDAVIA, SLOBVARIA,THE RIPOFF REPUBLIC OR THE PILFER ISLANDS.

HEY LARRY, YOU STILL HANGING AROUND WAY DOWN HERE? WELL CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE OTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND, TIM BUCKLEY , LARRY "WILD MAN" FISCHER , ALICE COOPER , STEVE VAI PLUS MORE FRANK ZAPPA / CAPTAIN BEEFHEART RELATED ARTISTS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE YER STICK AT, AND AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH I'VE ADDED SOME OTHER COOL PSYCHEDELIC / HARD ROCK ARTISTS SUCH AS: CAPTAIN BEYOND, BLUE CHEER WITH THE LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPALARDI, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, BULL ANGUS, JETHRO TULL, KING CRIMSON, PINK FLOYD, JIMI HENDRIX, NEKTAR AND MANY OTHERS IN MY E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY. THE ADMISSION REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE . SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?